13.inglês Para Iniciantes (English For Beginners)

61. Two Little Ones 

A: I'm worried.

B: Worried about what?

A: I'm getting married.

B: You should be happy, not worried.

A: I am happy, but marriage is a lot of responsibility.

B: Yes, you have to take care of your wife.

A: And I have to take care of our children.

B: Are you going to start a family?

A: Yes. We want to have a little boy and a little girl.

B: That sounds wonderful.

A: Except we can't afford it!

B: No wonder you're worried.

 

62. But Is It Art? 

A: I don't get art.

B: Or artists.

A: They're in a different world.

B: I saw a painting of a jar that was full of pencils.

A: The artist said the jar was both full and empty.

B: But it was full of pencils! How could he say it was empty?

A: Artists see things differently.

B: Did you ever see anything that Picasso painted?

A: Of course! He's world famous.

B: Did he ever take art lessons?

A: I can't believe it. I drew paintings like that in third grade.

B: Where are they? Maybe they are worth millions.

 

63. Life Is for Living 

A: What's the point?

B: The point of what?

A: Of living.

B: Who knows? You live, and then you die.

A: We must be here for some reason.

B: Maybe we're here to have fun.

A: Then why aren't I having fun?

B: Because you're thinking too much.

A: So I should stop thinking?

B: Stop thinking about what the point is.

A: Okay. I'll start thinking about having some fun.

B: Just be patient. Fun doesn't come along every five minutes.

 

64. A Tough Choice 

A: Beer is a powerful drug.

B: So are cigarettes.

A: Which would you prefer?

B: What do you mean?

A: When you die and go to heaven, they will offer you beer or cigarettes.

B: I could pick only one or the other?

A: Yes. Nothing's perfect, not even in heaven.

B: Boy, that's a tough one.

A: What's so tough about it? Of course, I would pick cigarettes.

B: But cigarettes taste much better when you have a cold beer.

A: Well, you can't have everything.

B: I don't think I want to go to your heaven.

 

65. Patch It or Sew It? 

A: My pants have a hole in the front pocket.

B: You shouldn't carry pens in your pocket.

A: Yesterday a pen fell through my pants onto my shoe.

B: Lucky for you it wasn't a sharp knife.

A: Who carries a sharp knife in their pocket?

B: Criminals, of course.

A: Anyway, I have to fix the hole.

B: You can sew it up or use an iron-on patch.

A: Tell me about this patch.

B: The patch has glue. The hot iron melts the glue so the patch sticks on.

A: That sounds a lot easier than sewing.

B: It is. But after about ten washings, the glue washes off.

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